Review: Star Trek

Two days ago, Star Trek returned to the silver screen for the first time in 7 years, and I am pleased to say this reboot of the franchise is well-worth the wait. Our tale begins on the U.S.S. Kelvin, which has become the prey of a massive Romulan ship. Under the command of Captain Nero, the Romulans easily destroy the U.S.S. Kelvin and it is only because of First Officer George Kirk's bravery that the passengers manage to escape, among them his pregnant wife.

The following scenes gradually introduce us to the rest of the movie's numerous characters, each played brilliantly by a star-studded cast. While each of the characters are given a chance to prove their worth in heroic fashion, the movie focuses on the relationship/rivalry between hot-headed bad boy James T. Kirk (Chris Pine) and genius Vulcan/human hybrid Spock (Zachery Quinto). The intense scenes they share manage to bring a level of depth to the film, transforming a seemingly basic premise (evil aliens over there, let's kill them before they destroy Earth) into a film that's deep enough for you to care about the characters.

The special effects are amazing, and though I don't think anyone expected anything else, it's safe to say that the Enterprise has never been more beautifully rendered. Additionally, there is a great level of humor to the film that manages to keep the it "fresh"; and finally, the general pace of the film is just right, and even when the film moves from action to dialogue the dialogue is so well-written and acted out that there isn't a moment in the movie where you can be bored.

Well, enough with the good stuff, on with the bad. I was somewhat torn about criticizing this film as it has a 96% on RottenTomatoes, and when I pointed out some of the ridiculous things in the movie my friends all disagreed with me, asserting that it was "awesome". That said, I either have to accept I am wrong, or prove that 96% of professional critics and my friends have no idea what they are talking about. So, let's go with the latter.

A big problem that I had with the film was a certain scene in which the adult Kirk and the rest of the Enterprise first encounter the Romulans. In the scene, Kirk and Sulu (John Cho) are sent to the base of a giant drilling machine that penetrates the planet's crust with its white-hot stream of fire. As Kirk and Sulu attempt to disable the drill, they are attacked by aliens with laser guns. It is at this point that Sulu whips out a sword and starts slashing at them.

Now perhaps I have read too much Freud, but the thought of big manly space marines sword-fighting aliens on top of a giant metal dick powerful enough to penetrate a planet was just rather silly. Granted, I love over-the top action sequences and phallic imagery as much as the next guy but this scene just went straight past awesome and right into "b-movie camp."

Another problem that I had with the film is that there are no "aliens" in it. The three main races in the film are Vulcans, Romulans and humans, all of which are identical. The Vulcans look exactly like humans except they have bad haircuts and pointy ears. The Romulans, on the other hand, are bald, have stubble, crazy tattoos, and wear leather! The film felt like a battle between an Eastern European biker gang and the combined forces of Beatles impersonators and the cast of Beverley Hills 90210.

Again these are minor complaints, and maybe I am just nit-picking because this film truly was amazing. My main problem is that it decided too remain to faithful to the source material, a.k.a., the 1960s original series. I realize that many people enjoyed the old series but in retrospect I think we can all agree that it doesn't meet the standards of today's media. Sure, the original series was cutting edge for its time but "cutting edge" back then meant re-useable plastic suits, and any hot chick who got splattered by green paint was considered an extraterrestrial.

So why remain faithful to the original series if some of their concepts are outdated? Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to diss the original series. I fully expect that thirty years from now our kids are going to look back on Iron Man and The Dark Knight and think they were lame, just as we should of the original Star Trek series. My only point is that some series are good in their time, and practically no series can truly be considered "good forever". But again, apparently I am the only person bothered by giant metal dicks and aliens in leather pants and overcoats, so don't take my word for it.