YMBMO: Settlers of Catan

Do you like strategy? Do you like harvesting resources to build up expansive empires? Do you like to crush your enemies, to see them fall at your feet -- to take their grain and bricks and hear the lamentation of their sheep? Well, then this weeks YMBMO is of particular interest to you, because you may be missing out! No, I’m not talking about Starcraft II (or Farmville) - I’m talking about German board game sensation Settlers of Catan!

German, huh, So what do you do? Invade Poland?

Yeah. I mean, no! Too soon, bro. Too soon.

You cold-hearted bastard.

Settlers (that’s you!) play Catan on an island made up of hexagonal pieces. Each of these pieces has a number on it and an image that represents a resource.

The players place settlements and roads on the board along the sides of the hexagons. They roll two dice each turn, then receive resources (brick, lumber, grain, wool or ore) from their settlements that are on the tiles whose number has been rolled.

Players use these resources to build roads, settlements, cities or development cards that provide give special abilities or points. Settlements and cities provide victory points. The first player to 10 victory points wins!

When did board games become cool?

Board games have always been cool! Haven’t you read Hikaru no Go!?

This is cool, right? It looks like Tron, and Tron is cool? ...Right?

Give it a shot! Before you know it, you’ll look like this:

There is no way this is not cool.

Why should I play this?

Settlers is a relatively simple game that makes for complex gameplay. Trust me, things get heated – and sometimes bitter - as players start furiously trading and scheming for domination. You don’t really know your friends until you’ve started a protracted armed feud using development cards... over sheep.

Besides, it's fun.

In fact, with Settlers, if you divided the Fun you'll have by the Hassle you endure, you get a number > 1! Unlike Monopoly...

Who am I going to play this with! I don’t have friends!

Don't worry, I've got you covered. There have been a variety of video game versions that remove the limiting factor of actual human relationships.

You can go to PlayCatan.com and play online for free, or, buy a premium account for extra features!

In addition to this, there are a few versions available for mobile phones and PC.

That said, you won't really get the full experience of Catan without engaging in cut-throat competition and political intrigue with good friends. Besides, the AI player Siegfried on PlayCatan.com is kinda a bitch.

Where can I get this?

At all finer stone locations (whatever that means). But seriously, Toys R Us and game hobbyist stores are bound to have this game, and perhaps, even a few of its expansions!

So, get playing!


(And if you don’t have friends, get off Starcraft II and mail Starcraft II to me.













Oh, and go outside and make friends to replace the ones you lost being too aggressive in Catan.)